smallfuzzy

Title: Discretion
Author: googlebrat
Fandom: Merlin
Rating: G
Genre: Gen, humor
Characters: Arthur/Gwen, Merlin, Morgana, Uther
Summary: Faced with a choice of Gwen leaving Camelot, or Arthur accompanying her into banishment, they come up with a plan b.
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this!
A/N: Queen of Hearts made me laugh a lot, but it struck me that there was a somewhat easier way of dealing with things. Full credit to Blackadder for "Bob".

( Discretion )

Six months later.

“Father, about what you saw – I, I can explain!” Arthur was frantic, chasing at Uther’s heels. This time, this time the rage would no doubt be apoplectic. It might even give Uther a heart attack or something.

Actually, that would probably solve a lot of problems.

Uther laughed, and kept laughing. Arthur stared.

“Don’t be silly, Arthur! I was young once, you know. I do know the temptation of serving boys.”

He did? Arthur almost swallowed his own tongue in shock. It took a moment to find words again. “So, it’s all right?”

“Well, you’re not meant to get caught, I mean it’s hardly the most suitable thing for a young prince..”

It seemed uncannily like a conversation they had already had six months previously. Arthur felt his heart sink. “I just must never see he-him again?” he guessed unhappily.

“What? No, don’t be stupid. You’re hardly going to get him with child, are you? As long as you aren’t going to have a bastard heir about the place, I have no objections.” Uther frowned for a moment. “No, that never works out – child ends up coming back, lots of resentment, tries to replace the rightful heir, all very messy..” He shook his head, as though dislodging a troublesome thought. “No, if you like this – Bob, is it? Just be discreet. Give the boy a permanent post around the palace so he has no incentive to cause trouble, keep him out of the way.”

Arthur nodded dazedly, wondering if this were a dream. Life never went this conveniently well. “Yes father.”

“Good. Just as long as we understand each other.” Uther started to walk away, and then turned back as though remembering. “I find a post like physician works particularly well. Remember, be discreet!”

Be discreet, Arthur thought. Well, he could manage that. At least, until he had to explain to his father that “Bob” was pregnant.